The relationship between Antoinette and her cousin, Sandi, is one definitely worth pondering. The first mention we get of Sandi is when he stops the two kids from bullying Antoinette on her way to the convent. They had obviously known each other previously, and must have had some sort of positive relationship for Sandi to care so much about the kids bothering Antoinette. He's very insistent on making sure that the kids don't bother her in the future either, not just stopping them from doing it that one time. Antoinette, however, seems to brush her cousin off. She barely acknowledges him, and to the reader mentions that she felt strange about talking to him since her stepfather had been talking about black people. We gather that Sandi is an illegitimate son of Antoinette's uncle on her father's side, and is of color (although not completely black).
The next time Sandi is referred to is when Rochester is talking about bathing, and he says that Antoinette has an astonishingly good arm when it comes to throwing things. When Rochester asks about who taught her to throw, she says: "Oh, Sandi taught me, a boy you never met." Again, Antoinette must have spent some portion of her childhood with Sandi, but though we are exposed to much of her childhood through the first part of the book, Sandi is never mentioned. He must have played some role since he taught her to throw and cares about her enough to scare away the bullies, but yet Antoinette disregards him completely. When asked about him, she doesn't elaborate on their relationship at all. She simply refers to him as "a boy." He's her cousin, and must be/must have been more than just "a boy" to her at some point, but she doesn't acknowledge this.
Later, when Daniel raises suspicions about Antoinette's past/heritage to Rochester, he hints that Sandi and Antoinette had a 'thing' together before Antoinette met Rochester. This most likely isn't true based on the evidence that Daniel is pretty shady and obviously trying to stir up trouble, and that Antoinette and Sandi are cousins, but it seems to unsettle Rochester quite a bit along with all the other things Daniel tells him about his wife.
On the other hand, maybe Antoinette just brushes Sandi off when asked about him because there was something going on there and she didn't want to be questioned about it/didn't want to raise any suspicions... we don't really get the full picture so we don't know for sure. But, these are definitely thoughts worthy of being pursued.
And in this social context, the fact that Sandi is "mixed" is probably more irksome to Rochester than the fact that they're cousins (as the nobility in England had endorsed cousin marriages for centuries). It's true that Daniel is trying to plant seeds of mistrust in Rochester (or cultivate the seeds that are already there), but in part 3 we see that there maybe is some grounding to these fears: Antoinette talks about her and Sandi secretly meeting up when Rochester isn't at home, and she mentions an especially intense kiss when they know they're finally saying goodbye forever, because she's being taken to England. He's a minor character in the novel, but you're right, his role is definitely worth a closer look. It's not hard to conclude that Antoinette would've been way better off marrying him than Rochester--one more way that the prevailing social customs and laws work against her.
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